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星期二,為期一年多的靈性老師訓練,結束了
但當天拿到靈性老師的畢業證書時,我不是滿心歡喜,反而是有一種憂鬱惆悵的心情
好像:過去一年多發生這麼多事情,分手、去到不同的地方遊歷、心情的劇烈起伏…像一場夢一樣的,就這樣結束了嗎?
那些是真的還是假的?
接下來呢?

經歷了在結尾時與阿格尼的擁抱和建議中,有著深深觸動的晚餐,好好睡一覺之後
隔天起床好好了解自己的心情

是啊~完成了這一件大事,接下來,就是要獨立了呢!
成為靈性老師,這一路,從浴光之路、阿法氣顧問、蓮花療癒師、高瑞加薩顧問、神聖阿卡莎花精顧問暨老師,到完成靈性老師訓練
我具備了好多哦!
在一些練習當中,我收到的訊息,在接下來的道路上,都是跟「成為自己、散發自己的光、喜悅的生活」有關!
(當然,還有其他的,像是:火的祈禱、帶人們與自然連結、心與腦的結合、顯化的能力…等等)

這一年多以來,很多很深很深的內在黑洞都跑了出來
第四區塊,或許來到最後的整合階段
在某天幾個練習之後,大家分享與大自然、萬事萬物合一的心得感想
我說到:我那麼愛大自然、萬事萬物,我們都是一體的;我就在祂之內,祂就在我之內,『我怎麼可以不愛自己?』,我們是一體的
當說到這個深深的領悟時,我哭了

週二晚上的畢業晚餐,當我們一一前去和阿格尼擁抱,阿格尼針對每個人說了一些建言
當時,他跟我說:「你要看到自己的價值,相信自己值得這一切。你崇敬所有的事物,為什麼沒有崇敬你自己呢?」
我回答說:「我看不到我自己」
他說:「這就是問題所在。」
「去接受你自己,即使你不知道那是什麼,接受她」
我說:「我會試」
他說:「不是去試,去“做”。」
我點頭,再度深深地看入他的眼睛。
這次,我在他的眼神中,感受到神的愛。

週四在家裡,再次想著阿格尼說的話
不知道是不是因為再加上前一晚厄瑟尼點化能量的運作,我突然懂了:
那晚在阿格尼的眼神中,我再度的經驗到神的愛
我再度回到神的愛中
這是我靈魂長久、長久追求與渴慕許久的啊……….
那一刻,我突然眼淚再度潰堤
但這次,是喜悅至極的哭:『我再度回到家了!』
這是這一年多以來,第一次因為喜悅而哭
感受到好多好多的愛,來自神、來自靈性協助者、來自靈魂家族
我真的走出黑暗、回到光裡了

很多很多的感謝!
謝謝Agni, 謝謝Sun Ya, 謝謝Durga, 謝謝每一位同學,謝謝每一位在這條路上與我相遇的人們與經驗!

現在,帶著滿滿喜悅與感恩的心情
我願意成為我自己
我想要每天喜悅的生活,投入自己所愛的,盡情發揮!
帶著感恩、謙卑與分享的心,我也願意服務!
愛大家!

On Tuesday, I finished spiritual teacher training.
When I got the certificate, instead of feeling happy, I felt disoriented and downcast. It’s like: during the last year, so many things happened. Is it all? Just finish like this? It’s like a dream. Are they real? What’s next?
I didn’t know exactly why I felt that way at that time. 
Next morning, I spent some time to feel myself.

YES, I met a milestone. I am a spiritual teacher now. It’s time for me to independently express and develop myself! 
From finishing trainings of Akasha Sacred counseltant, Path into Light, Alpha Chi consultant, Shiva Shakti Lotus Healer, Gauri Gatha consultant, and now Spiritual Teacher, I have already achieved and developed a lot.
During some practices in the forth block training, I kept receiving Devine guidance like: becoming yourself, shinning your light, and living life joyfully.
(Of course there are something else, such as: developing fiery prays, bringing people back to nature, acting in the unity of head and heart…etc.)

During the last year, a lot of deepest darkness showed up. 
In the forth block training, it’s like coming to the final integration.
One time during sharing, we talked about how we felt to be one with everything.
I said: “I love natural so much, how can I “not” love myself? I am one of natural, as natural is in me. I love it so much, how can I not love myself? We are one.” When I got this realization, I cried.

In the end of graduation dinner, there was a chance that each of us hugged Agni to express our gratitude. At that time, Agni gave each of us some advice.
Agni said to me: “You need to see your value. You deserve it! You worship everything but yourself.”
I said: “I don’t see myself.”
Agni said: “That’s the problem. You need to ACCEPT YOURSELF even though you don’t know what it is.”
I said: “I will try.”
He said: “Don’t try. DO!”
I knocked my head, and then deeply looked into Agni’s eyes again. This time, I saw God’s love in his eyes.

Back to home, after a good resting, I woke up on Thursday morning. I was not sure if it’s because of the Essene’s initiation, I recalled Agni’s advice, and I realized at that time when he talked to me on dinner party, I felt God’s love again.
I am back to God’s love again.
This’s what I’d been searching for long long time.
When I realized it, my tears broke again. They were tears of joy. 
“I am back home again.”
It’s the first time after all this year’s depression and anxiety (maybe also first time in my life), I cried out loud of happy.
I felt immense love from God, from spiritual helpers, from soul families.
I am back to light again! I am really out of my own darkness.

Many many Thanks.
Thanks Agni, Sun Ya, Durga, every classmate, everyone I meet in this path.

Now, with joy and gratitude, I am willing to become myself, to live life joyfully everyday and live the best of it!
With gratitude, humbleness and love, I am ready to SERVE!
Love you all!

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Solana

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