致所有有個性的女人/女孩:
 
你不需要改變你自己
你不需要因為做自己而有罪惡感
 
你可以維持“有想法、清楚自己要什麼、個性強壯、不輕易妥協、目標清楚”的你自己
 
即使你的父母、你的家庭、整個社會環境、價值觀跟你不一樣,
你還是可以勇敢做你自己
你可以跟他們不一樣
你依然可以愛他們
但你不需要犧牲自己、硬逼自己跟別人一樣,讓自己不快樂
 
那不是真正的愛
 
愛,是給予自由
給自己也給對方自由與空間,完全做自己
但同時尊重,不批判,接納
 
因為,沒有絕對的對錯好壞
在這個社會環境中合理的事情,在別的社會環境中或許完全不被接受
在當時的社會情境中合理的決定,在今日或許不一樣
 
有時候,你父母不理解你,說“你不好”,“你做不對”,“你太野”
或許問題不在你,
而是他們的框架太小,容不下你的夢想、你的真實、你的火焰
 
勇敢做自己吧!
你不需要因為做自己而有罪惡感
即使顫抖著、即是不確定
但唯有當你真正快樂,你身邊的人才會真正快樂,你的生命才會快樂
 
*有感於看到一位個案在年輕時因為要符合社會習俗而進入婚姻,結果現在很痛苦;以及當他談到從小被爸媽說個性太硬,覺得爸媽太傳統、爸媽的愛不是他要的愛的痛苦眼淚後所寫
 
To all women and girls who gets personality,
 
You don’t need to change yourself.
You don’t need to feel guilty for being who you are.
 
You can be the one “who has thoughts, is clear about what you want, has strong personality, not easy to compromise, has clear goals.”
 
Even your parents, family, the whole society is different from you, you still can bravely be who you are.
You can be different from them.
You can still love them.
But you don’t need to sacrifice yourself, force yourself to be who you are not, and make yourself unhappy.
 
That is not true love.
 
Love is to give freedom.
Give yourself and others freedom and space to be who you and they truly are.
At the mean time, give respect, non-judgement and acceptance.
 
There is no absolute right or wrong, good or bad. Things are normal in this social environment, maybe odd in another. Decisions were reasonable in old times but seem crazy in modern times.
 
Sometimes your parents tell you “You are bad”, “You are wrong” or “You are too wild.”
Maybe the problem is not on you.
It’s their frame is too small for your DREAMS, REALITY, TALENTS AND FRAME!
 
Have the courage to be who you are!
Even you are trembling or unsure, still make the decision to be who you truly are.
Only when you are truly happy, people around you will be truly happy, your life will be truly happy.
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Solana

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